Its nap time/quiet time on the farm....Perfect time to blog after a busy Easter weekend. We celebrated my Dads 50th Birthday by throwing him a surprise party Saturday night and had a busy Sunday celebrating Easter with family. Friday night turned into Date night for the hubby and I, thanks to our oldest wanting to have a sleepover at Gigi and Papa's house and his little brother wanting to tag along. It got me thinking about a topic I have always felt strongly about......Dating Your Spouse.
My Husband and I met at 14, started dating at 16, engaged at 19 and married 5 months later (J-20 turned 20 a week before we were married and I turned 20 a month after we were married) I know, I know.......we were so young! I knew at the age of 16 he was the man I was going to marry. We have been together almost 12 years and married 8 years (8 year wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks, we will probably spend it in a tractor 💚💛thats what happens when you marry a farmer in the middle of May and I wouldn't have it any other way!)
May 16th 2009
I am NOT a marriage expert, but I have been given some good advice from people whose marriage I look up to. The biggest advice I have been given is to never, I repeat NEVER stop dating you spouse. we can get so caught up in the day to day struggles and tasks that the years fly by and next thing you know you look at the person laying next to you in bed and you feel like you don't know them. I came up with some ideas on how you can date your spouse even if you don't have a babysitter or have much spending money. I would encourage everyone to have at least 1 "date night" a month better yet 1 "date night" a week.
1. This one you will need a overnight babysitter and some extra spending money. Get away for a weekend go to a bigger city and shop, find a cabin in the woods to get away from it all, go to a concert, or go to a hotel with a spa and have a relaxing weekend. Whatever you chose to do, do something you both enjoy and spend the night. Maybe do this for something bigger than "date night" celebrate a Birthday or Anniversary.
Justin and I at the Iowa vs. Iowa State football game. Go Cyclones!
2. Dinner and a movie. Pretty basic, right? Justin and I do this at least every other month and we usually try to not talk about the kids (that never happens😊) or other tasks and we don't sit and stare at our phones until the food arrives.......we talk......we still talk about our dreams, ideas and what we hope to accomplish in the future. One time we went out to eat and there was a family of 4 sitting at a table everyone of them had their nose in a book, phone or iPad.....didnt hear a peep out of them until the food came and then it was just a few mumbles about the food. On the other side of the room was an older couple who talked the whole time before their food came, we heard giggles coming from their table and they were smiling the whole time.
Going out to eat for our 5 year Anniversary I was 33 weeks pregnant with J
3. You will need a babysitter, but little to no money for this one. Go for a walk, bike ride, hike, or get a coffee and talk, without distractions. I can't tell you how many times we try to have a conversation with our kids around and we have to start over multiple times until we finally give up. Get some time alone and talk. Catch up with each other. I know a couple who said they get ready for bed and spend 15-30 minutes talking before going to bed. They catch up on each others day and talk about what they have going on the next day or week. It seems so simple, but its a great way to connect.
4. No babysitter and no money for this one. Put the kids to bed and make some popcorn and get a drink of your choice and play some board games. You could also watch a old movie, but I like the idea of playing games the best. Ask for new board games for Christmas so you always have selection. Play poker and bet things like the husband cooking dinner or cleaning the kitchen or the wife mowing the yard......it gives you a little more appreciation for what your spouse does to contribute to the family and household.
5. This one isn't a husband and wife date, but I feel is just as important. Go out to eat with friends or have friends over and play games. We get together with our friends a few times a year without kids and usually once every 1-2 months with kids. It's so important to have a great group of friends who are there for you and you family. Also, I think it is important to have "Guys Night" and "Girls Night" my husband and I and most of our friends do golf league in the summer and us girls try to get together once a month. We take turns hosting and its fun to catch up. The Guys usually aren't as planned so they just show up at someones shop have a beer and chat.
At our friends wedding in 2013. We sure clean up nice!
The most important thing to remember is you were Husband and Wife before you were Mom and Dad. Our children are the light of our lives and we love spending time with them, but sadly one day they will be grown and won't need us as much and I for one do not want to look at my husband 10-15 years from now and feel like I'm looking at a stranger.
